I carried him in my womb for 10 and a half months, watched him squiggle around on the 3D ultrasound video. I carried him on the outside, in one baby carrier or another, for over 12 months, close to 18 I would estimate, though the carrying weaning day isn't a significant one in my head or my journals.
I kept him warm and fed, mama milk for the first year and a half, slowly introducing all the yummies that we produce and create starting at 6 months.
We cuddled, we laughed, we cried, we yelled, we loved without words.
His brother spent 10 glorious months inside my womb. He was born and admired, or ignored, by his brother. His sole food consumption is through me and my mama milk.
I changed their stinky diapers, trained one to go in the toilet, which the other will be following suit in a few years. I kissed ouchies, I wiped their bloody wounds and poopy bums.
All of these events are symbolic of motherhood, or parenthood. Yet it was only a couple of days ago that I truly felt my role as mother envelope me. With two short sentences under two separate situations I finally truly felt like the name Mama, which has been echoing in my head for years now, has finally taken on a true and comfortable ring to it.
These two sentences were spoken ever so clearly and lightly by my amazing first born son. First sentence 'I love you Mama'. I don't know if you heard that, it was the sound of my heart expanding and than bursting into a million little gooey pieces. The feeling that embraced me at that moment.................whew, amazing.
The second sentence 'I'm mad at you Mama'. Fantastic! Hilarious!! I never did get to the bottom of that anger, but man was it amusing to hear that little innocent voice state those words! It wasn't quite the pinnacle 'I hate you Mama' but it was definitely a defining moment.
And so here I am, officially a Mama!
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