Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I love you as big as......

Rohan and I play this super amazing game these days.  It usually starts off with Rohan gazing at me with his big. beautiful, brown, and adoring eyes and states with sincerity in his voice 'Mama, I love you'.  I, with equal amounts of adoration,  glance my eyes back to him claiming that I too, love him.  And this is when the game starts to elevate, bouncing back and forth with amazing levels of competitiveness.  Rohan, looking ever so mischievous and proud will counter my love with 'I love you as big as planet earth', I, with, 'I love you as big as planet earth and the moon'.

Then it starts going hard core into the earth, plus the moon, plus the whole universe times 3, then 10, then times 1000.  Rohan's eyes gleaming, his head bobbing up and down in an affirmative with my every exclamation of surprise at the shear size of love he has come  up with.  This game may very well be one of my favourites for some pretty obvious reasons. I mean what mother in her right mind would not cherish a game that offers a competition of how much their son loves them compared to how much they love their son (or daughter, in other parents cases)?

There is some background on the greatest game on earth (plus Saturn, the milky way, and the black hole all mixed together times 1000).  This games began innocently enough yesterday, as Rohan and I sat with our steamy cups of hot chocolate, after a fun morning sledding outdoors.  It started as it usually starts, he, with his exclamation of love towards his dearest mother, me with my counter of love.  And then out of the blue he states 'Mama, I don't love you as big as a hot chocolate'.

Well, I guess I now know the limit of love he has for me!!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The True Meaning of Love

I discovered the true meaning of love yesterday, it was a beautiful thing,

Here's a little background.  Avery, the wee one, has had an ongoing cough, for what feels like the entirety of our winter season.  Rohan, the big brother, has had a pretty rough weekend of fevers, coughing, overall lethargy and both with ever flowing faucet style snot coming out of their noses.  The time was nigh to finally see a doctor, after what feels like MONTHS of catering to my poor wee sick boys.  A tough job in itself.  The drive out there was dicey to say the least, wet snow falling, roads slushy and slippery. children sleepy, grumpy and sick.

I got the required medication for the big brother and stocked up on the supplies the doctor recommended I get for the wee one, and homeward through the slushy mess of road I went.

So through this, you may be thinking that the sometimes trying task of nursing two children back to health, having been squished between the two of them in bed at night for over a week straight, blatantly suffering sleepless nights of squishiness and concern might be the moment of truth in love.  It is not however.  That is just par for the course.  That is my job as mommy dearest.  Although in the end it really is an expression of true love, there are very few mothers or fathers for that matter, out there that would even think twice about it, it being a natural parental instinct.

The moment I speak of, the moment of a pure expression of love, devotion and 'would do anything for my child' ness had to do with the paraphernalia that I had purchased for the wee one, the stuff that came 'highly recommended' by herr Docteur.  It was a simple process, simple in theory anyway.  The purpose of this stuff was to drain the ever flowing burden of snot from our wee baby's sinuses.

It goes a little bit like this.  Lay small and very co-operative child into a supine position, head facing to the right. Uncap travel sized bottle of saline solution, dropping 2 drops into childs nostril hole (there was no specification as to which one).  Move the ever so co-operative childs head to the left, drop 2 drops into (I am assuming) the other nostril hole.  I am not sure if I was supposed to drain them first, but what with our wee one laying oh so still and content with liquid salt mixture flowing down his nose tube, I thought I would just plow on to the next step.

Next, place 'safety' filter into the the 'nasal aspirator'.  Lock nasal aspirator onto the aspiration tube (I recommend having this all done before you lay your child down as there is a good chance they will try for the great escape while you are fumbling with all these rubber bits and bobs).

Okay, everything is together, child is being so lethargic and still.  Place the rubber tip of nasal aspirator into the entrance of infant childs nose opening, place the end of the tube, which is attached to nasal aspirator, into your mouth.  (and here is where the true love moment starts to really come into effect) suck snot out of childs nose, with your mouth, all the while praying that the 'safety' filter does not fail and you get a throat full of boogy oogeys.  Literally, you are siphoning the green monsters from your extremely greatful bebes cavities.

That, my friends, is true true love!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Kicking my ass with cuteness part one

Rohan has been totally rocking my world with his many levels of cuteness these days.  One of the activities that he loves to do at home is jump on my bed.  To see the concentration mingled with a dash of joy and a pinch of mischief while trying to attain the ultimate height in his jumping is absolutely priceless.

I just want to insert here for you worry wort moms reading this here blog, my bed is a king sized mattress on the floor, safer than a trampoline in the back yard, that is for sure!

He has reached a very special age (or his little brother has) where he really really wants to play with his baby brother.  While jumping on the bed he will demand that I help Avery in joining in the leaping fun.  When I walk around with the wee one on my hip, Rohan has replaced his need to be held as well with requests for me to put him down because he wants to play with his 'brover'.  And he does.  He actually plays with the little guy.  He chases him around the house! Rohan, with one of his 'walking machines' Avery holding tight to the other one. Both boys screaming in hysterical laughter as they race around the house, crashing at every turn.

He has also taken to telling us how much he loves us, all the time.  Especially when he gets some sort of treat, then he loves EVERYONE!  'I love you and daddy and Avery very much. I love everbody, yup, I really do'.  He is an amazingly affectionate little guy, offering hugs and kisses constantly.

Hockey night has become a favourite in our house, Colin gets to watch hockey, Rohan gets to stay up late and I get to cuddle with Rohan until he (or we) fall asleep on the couch....

Rohans absolute favourite PJ's, with feet!
When we aren't napping on the couch, Rohan enjoys pulling his little brother in the sled...

Or laying around reading his most favourite books....
Anyone want to guess which book this is? 
Reading with his eyes closed (or sleeping!)
We sit, we talk about the world and everything else.  My heart swoons for this smart little man, love oozing from every one of my ever enlarging pores!  This is some of many ways that Rohan is rocking my world in cuteness.............

Monday, January 2, 2012

New Years Resolutions

I have not even attempted to come up with anything resembling a New Years resolution for many many a New year.  It has always seemed like making a false promise to yourself, only to be disappointed and discouraged when December 31st comes and you have nothing to show for yourself.  Maybe I tend to aim low. Don't make big resolutions you know you will not achieve.

This year feels a bit different however........actually, no, this year feel dramatically same same as last year.  If anybody knows me, they know that this is a recipe for disaster.  Same same can very easily be construed into boring and unlivable in my eyes, which in turn can spell unnecessary acts of over drama in order to to get some change and excitement in my life.  Not good when you have the level of commitments and amount of dependents that I have now acquired over the years.  Any drama I create can have a potential domino effect on my loved ones, causing hurt and pain when all I wanted was a little bit of newness.

I, Elizabeth Peters, am a change-oholic.  I think it has taken until the last couple of years to really acknowledge this part of myself.  Only the last year to really come to terms and accept this part of my personality flaw (perk?).  When you are living a fairly routine life style, you can start to feel boxed in and stagnant very very quickly.  Which I do.  I itch and wiggle.  I sweat and pace.  I need to go out.  I need to see something new.  I need to go somewhere new.  I need to meet someone new.  GET ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE BEFORE I GO MAD!!  Good.  I like facing these tid bits of personal reality, makes me feel justified!

So, this year I will make some absolutely attainable and realistic resolutions.  As a side note, I am winging this, I have not actually thought about any resolutions until this very second in time, bare (hehe) with me .

1.  Use TV time wisely.  I am not so crazy as to think there is going to be any drastic reduction in the watching of TV during the winter months, when we actually have it.  Some days are freezing, and if I don't want to face the outdoors, I certainly am not going to make my kids do it (unless I can convince the hubby to take them out..)  So yes, there probably will be more TV watching then I feel comfortable with, but I will try not to waste that precious quiet time if I can at all avoid it.  I will try to come up with as many alternatives for as long as I can until there just ain't nothing else to do (or I really need to make dinner).

2.  When playing quietly on their own DO NOT DISTURB THE KIDS.  Don't talk to them, don't attempting any form of interaction at all.  Do not even give them any sort of lingering look, because the spell will be broken and they will need you to entertain them again.  Tread very very lightly for those blessed and beautiful moments.  Enjoy, bask, shut the eff up!

3.  Do some yoga for the love of god.  It has been at least a year since my feet have formed to the familiar grip position on my well worn, well loved yoga mat.  My desire to get back into yoga is much much different from times past.  Although my body is in need of a serious uplift (sob) my spirit requires it a whole heck of a lot more.  I need that time to focus on myself (and I really don't mean for that to sound like the classic 'I never get time to myself' mama talk, seriously).  On my body, on my thoughts, on my spirit, on me, on myself.  Some time to focus and not push it away or bury it deep until later (later always means in bed, and I don't need any more to disturb my precious sleep).  I need to reestablish some sort of inner peace before I get so wound up that I snap (more often)!

4.  Write, Write Write and please just Write.  I used to always have some sort of journal on the go, during my teenage years (those ones are hilarious to re read) during my travels, during the first years of Rohans life,  Then they stopped.  This blog was my attempt to continue it on.  But I cannot be completely open and honest here. I mean to say that although I am not lying here, I am certainly not going to be unearthing and exposing all my dirty little thoughts and secrets for the whole world to read.  I need to start writing just for myself, my honest self again.  I was pretty good at in my day, really!  Which brings me to the next one...

5.  Be honest with myself.  I am not.  I am almost never honest with myself.  I think that yoga and in turn a bit of meditation with help to peel away some of those layers of uncertainty so I can unveil what my truth really is.  I have lost that along with many of my convictions. strength and trust in myself.  At best I feel confused and uncertain, at worst I feel like I am drifting above myself, watching as I just go through the motions without any emotional attachment to what is happening.  Soul search, find truth, stick to it, or not, flexibility is also a nice asset!

6.  Get in at least one totally positive thought in a day, at least.  I can feel myself drowning in my own negativity sometimes and it is just not healthy.  In fact so much so that I think it may be one significant factor in my on going poor health and lethargic, unproductive feelings.

7.  Give myself and my partner an effing break already.  I feel myself slipping into the fantasy of the life I wish I could have, the relationship I thought I would be enjoying, the person I thought I would be with for life. I cannot turn the tables, I cannot go back and change the past, and I wouldn't even if I could.  Too risky.  So instead of dwelling on how I wish it could have been, I need to start putting some more effort and attention on what it is, and just give the poor man a break already!  He may not be the free thinking, patchouli smelling, light hearted, easy going, vegetarian guy that I always thought I would one day settle down with, but he is hard working, animal loving, and a very very good and fun father. And he puts up with me, so that has to say something right?

8.  Blur the lines of gender related household tasks, quick, before the kids start to notice. I need to stop waiting for the man to come to get the furnace started, or cut the wood or fix this or fix that.  Just do it.  Stop being the only one in the kitchen, get that guy in there making stuff other then just the barbecue.  Start using that bloody barbecue myself.  I have unintentially created a definite difference between a girl job and a boy job, and it has got to stop.  I have to start (wo)manning it up and do some of these jobs for myself, and for my boys!

9.  Dip my toes into a bit of follow through, if not full out *gasp* project completion .  I need to finish some stuff.  I am professional starter, and then drop off from there.  Follow through is the real name of the game this year.  If I start something I am going to use all my motivation reserves to get that dang project completed.  Really.....

Which leads me to my first finished project of last year.....

THE SWEATER!!  Ahhh finally complete!

Okay, so I have quite a few other resolutions floating around, but I need to keep this as simple and small and realistic as possible.  Put a cap on it, leave it as it is before it becomes another unfinished project!

Happy New Year Every One!!