I have become obsessed (not really in the literal sense, in fact, I am not totally sure I like that word being used so lightly!!) with watching/reading/absorbing beautiful, magical birth stories. I have watched videos and read books with peoples stories or their births in them. I just can't seem to get enough of it. For some of these stories I end up with tears of gratitude running down my face.
It is like I have finally reached a point where I need as much positive input, energy, possibilities to soak into my very pores. I need to have a goal to reach for. THis is what I want to feel like after I birth my second child. This is how I want to take in and make my way through my next labour. I want openness, freedom, no more contracting but (as one book offered) getting constant consecutive baby hugs guiding my child forth toward the light.................go toward the light little one.
Come on baby turn baby turn, I birth you naturally, bit first, you MUST MUST turn around. Panic sets in. What if the baby doesn't turn...........I don't think I can do another C-Section, it will wound my soul too much. Baby baby baby, we have some work to do you and I!