This is us in Niagara Falls for my 28th birthday. So young, so carefree, so unknowing about what the next three years will entail for us. It seems crazy that it has only been 3 years, we have fit a lot of growing up in that time (well.........some of us! har har). We are now on our second child, we have taken two epic trip across Canada, to BC and than to Quebec. I hauled ass to BC in the greyhound to get myself a job before the world could tell I was pregnant ( the Greyhound + 2 months pregnant=yuck city) Colin arriving a couple of months later in his ridiculously small sports car packed with a crazy amount of stuff. Only to pack up everything into a Safari Van, just under 2 years later, and take the epic trip together with our just over one year old, to Quebec.
Here I am, three years later, pregnant again (read - ways to prevent yourself from partying on your birthday...uggh). I feel great, I am happy about the decisions we have made so far..............all of them, every one. I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but now I know for sure that I already am something pretty special. I am a mom. That is something truly amazing. As I write this blog (see-attentive mom playing on computer and ignoring child) I am growing a human being inside of me. Holy crap!
I feel like over the last couple of years I have started to open myself to the world. I have let more things in that I have denied myself before, or just denied in general. I have become more interested in what is happening in our world, the whole one, not just mine. I have relaxed. Not completely, motherhood doesn't always fit well with total relaxation, but I do lot less stressing about myself, about vanity, about the minor details. I am becoming a lot more comfortable about not being perfect, a feat I could not imagine taking on a mere 10 years ago. Or even 2 for the matter.
I feel like my internal search is one that will last a life time, but that I have become more accepting to each realization about myself. For example: I have been reading the book 'Happiest Toddler on the Block'. I have really enjoyed it's humour and have related and understood most of it's intentions and it's explanations about the ways of a toddler. I have not, however, really implemented any of the suggestions it has offered. Because of that fact, I have not finished reading the last chapter. Once I finish that chapter I will have to started practicing some of this stuff. So instead of knuckling down and getting to work to make parenting a toddler 'easier' I lent the book to my sister and decided to depend on my maternal instincts on this one (also known as LME or Lazy Mom Excuses!).
That is fine, I may not always practice what I read, even if I totally understand and believe what I am offered. Sometimes I just want to wing it to see what happens! So for so good, though not without a few hiccups along the way (like not sleeping for longer than 2 hours at a time for a year straight..............oh god, I forgot about that part!).
I like where I am, Wakefield is great, the people are great, the province has the best support for families that any other province in this country has. Cost of living is ridiculous compared to Victoria (if only it could have been with you Victoria). I have a lot of growing left to do (outward and inward at this point) but I am enjoying the process. Meanwhile, in celebration of my birthday I enjoyed a long and too hot bath with eucalyptus oil, while sipping on (gasp) a glass of red wine. It's okay folks, this bambino is fully developed, and by the feel of it, is having a hell of time partying it up in my belly!
Ahh that was nice. I still feel sniffly and icky (stupid cold) but so happy and so positive. Oh Red Wine, how I have missed our times together! We shall meet again one day. Happy Birthday to me.
Man do I feel like acting my shoe size today!!!