Friday, May 27, 2011

losing my touch

I am completely losing my touch, or something.........  This is the third night that I have put Avery down to sleep and he has ended up in hysterics.  Crying.  He never cries, fusses yes, but out right crying?? Oh no, not my angel baby.  I am so used to him doing most of the going to sleep part by himself, that I can offer only the smallest of solace. 

I am, as I have mentioned before, at a bit of loss.  I pat his diaper, I shush, I sing, I used every ounce of self control that I can muster not to pick him up.  I am not heartless, I just don't want him to start to depend on me to fall asleep now, after all this time.  If it had been this way the whole time, fine, I would suck it up and make it so.  But it has been a dream so far, so I don't want to change things.

I have caved, I have picked him up, I have nursed him to sleep, cuddled, loved.  It didn't help.  Damn.  What is going on?  Teeth?  Is he going to crawl soon?  He is backing up and that is the stepping stone usually.  Whatever it is, it is giving me some night time anxiety that I have not had since the infancy of Ro-Dog.    Bah, those unpredictable babies!

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