I am actually terrified to be alone with Rohan and Avery. The thought of Colin leaving the house for any extended period of time and leaving me to fend for myself, gasp, my heart slides up and lands like a lump in my throat. I am not totally sure how to handle a completely dependent child and a partially depending but striving to be independent child.
I can't leave them alone together for fear that Rohan may very well smother the little bugger with love. How do I go to the bathroom? Who do I bring? How do I keep up with the potty training when I have one boy that has to pee and the other one attached to my boob? How will I ever be able to leave the house with these two when one of them has a touch of Houdini? Is it really time to invest in a leash for the wild little man that I could chase after up until my very day of labour?
I feel a bit like a deer caught in the headlights. I am calm when it comes to Avery (my angel baby) and calm (yet slightly more impatient than I would like to be) with Rohan (my beautiful little first born), but the two of them together gives me minor heart palpitations. Rohan is generally amazing with Avery, mostly nonchalant. Ignoring him on most occasions, offering kisses and pets of affection on the others. But being pulled two ways, Rohan wanting up all the time, Avery pooping like a champion all the time. How canIi keep my attention on them both?
How am I going to make sure that Rohan isn't feeling too neglected while still being able to offer Avery his due attention? How the fuck do people have more than two????? Impressive!