Monday, March 14, 2011


It happens to all of us. I never really thought about it too much, it was always an uneventful event. It wasn't pretty, but the job had to get done, and so I did it. It has never really been a topic of discussion in my life, no sitting around with the girls drinking wine and spilling giggled confessions of said events.

And now? My life has flipped upside down and the ladies and wine and giggles have been replaced by large strong dark coffees, hysterical, sleep deprived laughter and ridiculous discussions about our children's BM's. You know, bowel movements, the yellow liquid mustard that manages to ooze out the sides of their diapers smearing all over their "one nice outfit for the outing' staining it forever. That is the moment the child gets changed out of awesomely cute outfit and into the only spare thing we keep in our diapers bags, the sleeper we put in there a month ago which we have to squeeze the poor little squirming infant into because they grow like CRAZY!

So poop. Might as well throw it into a blog post right? This is as honest as it gets, parenthood in it's purest form. We get sprayed by it, our hands/fingers/arms/legs (see all other exposed body parts in the lethal direction of bum and or soiled diaper) get smeared with it, some ladies I know stick a finger in the diaper to see if there is any of the yellow stuff in there. Yuck. I think I used to do that with Rohan. How disgusting is that? We must really love our kids! I prefer the bum sniff test. Again, yuck. In public too, we have no shame!

With Avery (lord my kids are going to hate me when they get older and get wind (pun?? a bit??) of these posts about their bodily functions!), I am starting to actually record his diaper dirtying incidents. Why? Well, He NEVER poops. I mean, I remember changing ten poopy diapers a day, soaking these nasty, yet fairly unscented, diapers in a big bucket of water and baking soda. These days, I don't even bother putting water in the bucket at all. It has, in fact, been ages since I have had to soak a dirty diaper.

I could be rejoicing, enjoying this easy life of cleaning already clean diapers, saving some cloths from getting over used on stinky bums. I have saved outfits and time with this lack of crap in my life. And yet, here I am, checking his diapers with abated breath, hope beyond hope that it is stinky. Denied, over and over again. Damn. I am going to have to look this up...........

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