There is nothing like having children to really force you to look deep within yourself. What kind of values and morals provide me with enough conviction to instill them in my children as well. Do I want them to know the realities of life from the get go? Do I want to hide some until they are 'age appropriate'? Should they know where meat comes from, whether there is or is not a Santa Clause, God, Tooth fairy? Do I really have enough facts about these topics to be teaching them?
But, what is dominating my mind over everything else these days is, what am I going to be when I grow up? I feel as if I am doing this all backwards. The career and marriage should already be in the bag. The kiddlets should be the icing on my already established and focused self. The kiddies should be the reprieve from my amazingly busy and demanding career/life. I should be contemplating and discussing with my employer/partner/self when I shall be returning to my optimal job as they beg for me to come back.
I am not there. I am so far from there that I have been taking some career assessment quizzes on line to figure out where there may be. I still don't know. I have this undeniable, burning need to be somebody special. For myself, for finances, for confidence, for a better established sense of self going beyond just 'well traveled mom'. But also for the kiddlets. I want to be someone they can look up to, to be proud of. To say 'my mom does so and so for a living' and watch pride glisten in their eyes. In my eyes. I want to be able to answer that 'what are you, what do you do' question that survey 's always have, I am a doctor/lawyer/astronaut/mom with no positive prospects to become anything else worth mentioning.
I can not believe how many options are out there, how many things I could be. A lot are vetoed. I can't decide to become a doctor this late in life, too much work, too many years, too much necessity for intelligence (I just want to insert here that I had to spell check intelligence...........doctor hey, ummm not a chance missy!). Money, time, transportation..........only one of these things are on my side, and not for long as Colin is on his way back to work soon.
So my lovely followers..............do you have any ideas for a career that will take a minimum of schooling at a minimum cost in order to do something i love, something that is going to do something helpful to someone(s) out there, and for a maximum rate of pay..............anyone??
What in the world Am I going to be when/if I grow up!